Counseling for Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal Trauma was first defined by Jennifer Freyd, PhD, in 1991. Betrayal trauma occurs when someone’s trust or well-being is violated by an institution or person they depend on for physical, emotional,  or financial security. 

It is similar to the trauma that can be caused by war, accidents, and death but the difference is, betrayal trauma requires a significant relationship between the perpetrator and the victim. 

Trauma Symptoms

According to the four types of symptoms listed in the DSM-5.

Avoidance Symptoms

• Avoiding specific locations, sights, situations, and sounds that serve as reminders of the event
• Anxiety, depression, numbness, or guilt

Re-experiencing Symptoms

• Intrusive thoughts, nightmares, or flashbacks

Hyperarousal Symptoms

• Anger, irritability, and hypervigilance
• Aggressive, reckless behavior, including self-harm
• Sleep disturbances

Negative Mood and Cognition Symptoms

• Loss of interest in activities that were once considered enjoyable
• Difficulty remembering details of the distressing event
• Change in habits or behavior since the trauma

I think I have Betrayal Trauma. What now?

When you first discover that your partner has engaged in behaviors like an affair, sexting, or using pornography in an addictive way, you may feel a mix of anger, sadness, disbelief, fear, shame and even numbness. 

It’s not uncommon to find yourself thinking, How could this happen? What does this mean for me? How do I move forward from here? Will I ever feel normal again?

The betrayal shakes the foundation of your trust—not just in your partner, but sometimes in yourself. You may question your judgment, your worth, or even your ability to feel safe in relationships again. You’re not alone in feeling this way. These are normal responses to something profoundly abnormal. This is trauma. And just like any trauma, it needs space, care, and support to heal. 

The good news is, there is hope! Healing is possible. Not overnight, and not without pain—but with the right tools and a supportive environment, many people find their way back to clarity, safety, and even strength.

You are not broken, you have immense value, and you are not alone!